Preparing For The Holidays: Step Five: The Clean Up

Oh my goodness, this house is in such disarray. It is littered with boxes, tissue paper and gifts that haven't been put away. We did manage to pick up the wrapping paper but that was about it. I wish there was a secret to the clean up but there isn't, you just do it. As far as the decorations go, some people like to take them down right away and some like to leave them up till New Years. I like to get them put away and get the house back to normal but I don't obsess over it. For now I will continue to enjoy having all my kids home as long as it last.

Eventually the house will be cleaned and everything will be back to normal. Graham and Andrea will go back to Salisbury and the "holidays" will be over but in this home as well as many of yours Christmas is never far away. Not because decorations are up or there are presents are under a tree but because Jesus Christ lives in our hearts every day.  

A Son At War #7 Separated At Christmas

I've been getting things together for weeks, all I can think of is my baby boy so far from home and everything he loves at Christmas. Surrounded by sand, the metal buildings that make up the base, weapons and the reality that your life could be taken at any moment. What a way to spend these very special holidays, I am determined to do what I can to see that he has some things to make it festive. The first thing to make it's way across the ocean is the tree, 3ft and prelit along with ornaments and various other decorations. He's excited to receive them but even this small tree is too big for his room so he puts it out somewhere for everyone to enjoy. He uses most everything we send to bring light into this very dark corner of the world for his fellow soldiers.

He has sent presents for us from Iraq and I send some for him, marked do not open till Christmas. Wonder can I trust him? Also along with his gifts are goody bags for some of his comrades that he gets to torture them with because they are also marked " not till Christmas ". I get a phone call early one morning from Iraq, it's his 1st Sargent. He saw the Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes and wants one! Garrett won't budge, not until Christmas so he tells him to call me and if I say OK then he can have one. Garrett is convinced I wont give in but how could anyone be hardcore with someone making the sacrifice they are making, not me! It was a very fun call!

Christmas morning arrives and his absence has left a big hole, thank goodness Graham and Andrea have been able to be here or I wouldn't have made it. We get everything ready to skype and open presents together, Garrett is up very late to join us. Skye is a wonderful thing if you have a good connection which does not happen often over there and Christmas morning is no exception. The call keeps dropping and so we have only a few minutes at a time but you can see the joy on his face as we open his very special presents sent from so far away. Then there is the frustration building every time the call drops, and we have to call it quits. Suddenly the miles that separate us are magnified and his absence overwhelms me and the tears come.

After a few moments, I do just like my soldier, I carry on. I have a very wonderful husband, son and daughter-in-law here with me and the traditions that make Christmas unique to our family will move us through the day.

After all, this is what it's all about. God came to earth, a Savior was born, the gift of salvation was given, a way was made to have a relationship with the living God. All because of His great love for us! That is worth celebrating inspite of what ever sadness this world brings. So with a tear in my eye I went about the day celebrating the birth of my Lord knowing that Garrett was doing the same.

Preparing For The Holidays: Step four- presents

When I give a gift I want it to be something valued by the recipient. Something they can use or that would mean something special to them. When they look at it or use it, it will remind them of a special someone or special event or maybe make a task in their life easier. You know how hard that can be.

Our family is big and we draw names so as not to financially stress anyone. Once I find out who I'm buying for I ask someone close to them for some suggestions and go from there. Of course like everyone else I want quality gifts at a good price. I love a deal, so yes I do black Friday, it's a family affair. My sister and nieces, nephews, Bubba and Garrett. We so missed Garrett last year when he was in Iraq! He attacks black Friday like a military mission, going over and around whatever to capture the deal. Make no mistake, he gets it too. We share our lists with each other, devise a plan, divide and conquer.

I hate to return things, any time of the year but especially after Christmas. So I don't want my gifts to put the recipient in that position. I put alot of thought into my gifts, thoughts of the particular person, what they may enjoy, what they may need. The people I give gifts to are people I love and I want to make a difference in their lives even if for a moment or in a small way. Now don't get offended, I love alot of people that don't get gifts! I have often wondered why God didn't make me rich as well as beautiful, I could have handled both but I trust His wisdom. Each gift is bought with that one person in mind and I look forward to giving it and seeing  the reaction of the person receiving it.

Let's talk about the most magnificent gift ever given. It is a gift that was sent just for you, it's what everyone needs even if you don't recognize it. You can't lose it or break it. It is perfect for each one of us no matter who we are, what we've done or where we are. If you accept this gift, it gives you peace in a world where there is no peace. It gives joy where there is no joy, a high purpose to your life and security that nothing can take away. It gives you a relationship with the living God, as a matter of fact it makes you family, His child! It was a very expensive gift, it cost Jesus His life but He gave it willing out of His love for you. So during the season when we celebrate when it all began here on earth, take this gift for your own. It makes the most important difference in your life.

A Son At War #6

For those who don't know me I am a professional clown aka Maggie Mae. This particular morning I am going to perform for a senior group at a church so I am in make up and costume. It takes a lot of time and work to be that beautiful! This morning has been focused on what I am doing and I am ready and walking out the door. The phone rings. The debate begins, do I answer or let the machine get it?

I get the news that has been leaked through the family lines, Garrett's base has been attacked. The problem with leaked news is you don't usually have details or at least the correct details. So then you start to imagine all that could be, I cannot go to pieces, Maggie Mae has to perform. It's hard to describe what I was feeling. I some how knew Garrett was okay, well not some how it was the Holy Spirit. Yet there was an anxiousness as I am wondering if  everyone is okay and trying to imagine the fear Garrett must have felt. I'll have to wait till later to get more news so I'm out the door.

I drive to the church with what I imagine the attack would have been like playing through my mind,it's not pretty.The Pastor is waiting for me outside and I tell him about my phone call, I ask him to pray that I can keep my focus. Once we get in and are ready to start he does pray, not only for me but for my son and all soldiers.As my head is bowed and my eyes closed I fight back the tears that are trying so hard to fall. I've got a job to do, a message to give about the same God that is protecting my son. I cannot lose it, and God is the glue that holds me together.

I do my program and my mind is relieved as I concentrate on the task before me. Maggie Mae takes over and the fun begins, for the next 20 to 30 minutes the magic that is Maggie Mae is enjoyed by all.

Then there is the drive home where I am again wondering about the events of the night before at Garrett's camp. I think about each soldier and pray that they are all okay. I need to get home, get out of Maggie Mae and then maybe I can focus on finding out some more details.

I back into the garage, grab Maggie Mae's props and race into the house. I change clothes and stand in front of the mirror to take my make-up off. I am horrified at what is staring back at me, then comes the laughter. When the Pastor prayed and I fought back the tears, Maggie Mae's mascara had run and I had two big black circles under my eyes! No one had said a thing and I went through the whole program that way! I hoped they didn't think Maggie Mae always looked like that! Oh well just as God helped me focus on the message I gave about Him I'm sure He helped them focus on that same message and not Maggie Mae's raccoon eyes!

Preparing For The Holidays: Step Three- cooking

 Now's the time to get out all those special recipes we love to make at Christmas. What goes better with family and friends but good food. Baking and cooking fill the home with the sweet aroma of Christmas!

I love to make sour dough rolls and share them at Christmas with a tub of honey butter, I must admit I've gotten a late start this year and my first batch will be coming out this week. It takes five days to make the starter! Nothing says I love you like giving something homemade where your time and effort are part of the gift.

We can never match the gift that was given that first Christmas day. The sacrifice Jesus made when He left His heavenly home to come here and endure this world. The nine months Mary endured the ridicule of the world while she carried the savior of the world. All the effort Joseph put into the care of this little one whose real Father was the most high God. Only God could have prepared this recipe. He made it for everyone, you only have to partake.

The following recipe is one of my favorites, it also is good to put in a decorative container and give to friends as a gift with a bag of tortilla chips.

Blackeye Pea Salsa
2 cans Black eye peas, drained
1 can white Hominy
a jar medium salsa
3 medium tomatoes, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
2 jalapeno peppers, chopped
3 stems parsley, chopped
mix all and add 1/2 bottle of Italian salad dressing

I hope you enjoy it!

If I Speak and Nobody Listens, Does It Matter?

I'm new at this blogging stuff, I was encouraged at a Writers Retreat to do it. They say it's good exercise for a would be writer such as myself. I always enjoyed writing when I was in school so I've decided to see what develops.

 Why do people write? Maybe to share an experience, or to teach a lesson. It could be purely for entertainment or it can even be therapeutic. Blogging is kind of like writing in a diary except it's one you want other people to read. So why would I share my thoughts and experiences? To prompt other people's thinking or to share something I've learned so you won't have to learn the hard way, like I usually do. Sometimes to see how other people feel about whats on my mind. Is what I have to say about anything really important? No, so I guess you could also conclude my writing is therapeutic and if it speaks to someone else along the way then great!

I didn't start out to write devotions or even talk about God, that's for people holier than I am. Or so Satan would have me believe but as I began to talk about my life and the things happening in it, it seems only natural to bring Christ into it. He is a part of everything in my life and the only important thing in my life. So if  I speak about what happened to me the other day and nobody listens, does it matter? No but if I speak about Christ and nobody listens, does it matter? Only for eternity.

Leave me a comment so I'll know somebody was listening

A Son At War:#5-

I've got to get a handle on this. I turn the computer on first thing in the morning and check for word through e-mail and see if he's on facebook or skype. There is 6 to 7 hours difference between us depending on what Daylight Savings time is and I'm wondering what his night was like and his day. They are under orders not to reveal  to people back home when there have been attacks but like every where else there are leaks.

I try to go about my day, carrying my computer with me from room to room as I clean so I wont miss him. I hate to go anywhere for fear of missing him but I realize I cannot become a hermit for the next year. I know when he gets into a routine we will find our own routine for communication.

When we skype the connection is not usually good, the picture is not clear, the sound is not good and the call drops frequently. It's very frustrating, especially when you know our soldiers who are providing communication, are charged eighty something dollars a month for Internet. Even with all that, I am thankful to be able to see his face, kind of and hear his voice, most of the time.

How ever we choose to communicate, letters, e-mail, phone calls, skype, texting or face to face. When communication stops the relationship breaks down. How do we think God feels when we go through out our day and won't take time to talk to Him? How would you feel if your child got up in the morning and left the house without speaking to you?How would He feel if we were desperately waiting on a word from Him like I did from Garrett? His word ( Bible ) is available to us, we just must chose to sit down with it and give Him our attention, He is waiting to speak to us through prayer. There is no relationship more important than the one we have with the living God, He has already given His life for us and has risen to new life that awaits all those who belong to Him.

Preparing For The Holidays: Step two-decorating

After the house is cleaned it's time to get out the decorations, ours come out of the basement. This part of the process is not enjoyable and the grumbling echoes all the way up the stairs. It's funny how many things your family members can realize they forgot they need to do at that moment. After all the boxes arrive upstairs I am left to take my trip down memory lane. Each box opened reveals treasures, carefully wrapped in tissue paper. Some older and some acquired more recently but treasures all the same. As each one is unwrapped, admired and put in it's special place, I remember. Maybe it's one of the boys coming in from school with an ornament clutched in their little hand they made that day and his smile as it was placed on the tree or in another place that said we valued it. Some are gifts from friends and I am reminded of the blessing they have been in my life. For some it's a remembrance of special places we've been and things that are special to us. What ever the boys were into that year, I know you all have those karate Santa's , Santa's with basketballs or maybe even super heroes. I realize again just how quickly the years have passed. Then there are the ones that honor loved ones lost, I see their faces and fell the emptiness their passing has left in my life. Year after year they are a part of our Christmas just as they will always be part of our life.

Then I begin to prod my husband, it's time for the lights! He doesn't enjoy it even though he's a master at it. We put colored lights on the tree and white on everything else. My favorite thing is to sit in the dark living room watching the tree twinkle. The glow it cast across the room is magical.

My favorite decoration though is the Nativity, the very reason for Christmas. I have a small collection and they are placed all around the house. I imagine all the emotion Mary must have been dealing with during the birth of her son. Knowing that one day she would give Him up for a world that would not even realize the significance of it. Yes I do love all the Christmas decor but nothing more than that original Christmas light that came into the dark world when it all begin and still shines to this day.

A son At War: part four- Waiting For News

It's very early in the morning, Bubba and I are awaken from a sound sleep by the ringing of the phone. We both are throwing off the cover and out of the bed in one motion, racing for the phone. It must be Garrett, thank goodness we weren't going for the same phone, it could have been disastrous. It is Garrett and the sound of his voice is music to our ears. Over the next year our lives will revolve around the phone and computer for e-mails, instant messaging, facebook and skype. Waiting to hear his voice and see his face, even if it's fuzzy . Just to know for now he's okay.

It is not lost to me the sacrifice of those who have gone before us. The days when all they had to look forward to was a hand written letter and by the time it arrived their soldier's situation would have changed many times. The worry with nothing to comfort them but their faith. The same faith that will get me through this year. I have it so much better and so does my soldier. He can let me know something he's longing for from home and I can have it to him in a week or so.

We are thankful for technology but more than that we are thankful for our God. The God of yesterday and of tomorrow. The God who will spend everyday with my son in that war zone and who in the midst of it all will show him amazing things. In this and this alone I have peace.

Preparing For The Holidays: Step one- cleaning

Let the games begin! Or preparing for the holidays which ever seems to fit your approach. For those who don't know the "holidays" are the time from Thanksgiving until New Years Day. It's a time for decorations, celebrations, reflections, family, food, gifts, parties and whatever else we can fit in. It's even a time people will go to church when they won't go other times and for regular attenders there will be special music, plays and everything above only centered on the birth of Christ.

The holidays don't just happened, you women know what I'm talking about! Men, you don't have a clue! It takes a lot of work and preparation.Because there is so much I think it's best to tackle it in steps, so the next few weeks on Mondays I'll let you know my thoughts on the matter at hand, today it's cleaning the house.

 Nothing like company coming to motivate you to clean, I mean the kind of cleaning you do for special gatherings. Not just regular vacuuming and dusting, you actually move things and dust and vacuum under them. After all who knows what relative or friend coming will move things and look? We don't want people to think we have dust bunnies and cobwebs, do we? Hands and knees cleaning the bathrooms, you know how really gross those can get in a short time. If company comes and stays for any amount of time you know they're going to have to go to the bathroom. What's worse than worrying about what they are doing in there, like looking behind the shower curtain, or what they are thinking? Like " I wonder when was the last time Margie wiped down the base boards in here?"

It isn't that I'm a slob but on the other hand I'm not June Clever either. I know you can relate, we just get comfortable with our own dirt. When company comes we want things in order, to sparkle and shine. We don't even see the cobwebs in the corner and the dust on the baseboards, we don't mind it, we just live with it. That is until someone else is coming and we don't want them to see it.

With all the things about the holidays we get distracted from what it's really about. Thankfulness that a Savior was born and is coming back. If you are a first time believer you don't have to worry about the mess in your life, Jesus is only too happy to help clean it up if you are willing to let it go. If you already belong to Him, you know better. We need to clean up that sin we've grown comfortable with and get ready for His return!

A Son At War: Part Three - From A Brother's Heart

The time is at hand and Garrett is on his way across the ocean where his life will be threatened for the next year. We stay near the phone and computer waiting for any news along the way, I am thankful for technology like never before. Graham hasn't had alot to say during this whole process and I have to admit it was bothering me. Did it not matter to him at all what his little brother was heading for? The following letter Graham wrote on his blog the night Garrett left tells it all. As I read it chills ran over me and my heart was filled to bursting. I hope it touches you too.

Aug 7, 2010   //   by Graham   //   Blog, Life  //  No Comments

Dear Enemies of our Country, Living in the Desert,

Consider yourself warned. In a matter of hours, a plane will land delivering hundreds of brave, courageous men and women. Among them, you’ll find one smaller and younger than most. Be careful not to judge what your brain interprets through your senses. What you won’t see by his outer appearance is what you should fear most. Beneath the tree-like exterior and metal chest protector lies the most offensive weapon to your mission. His heart. You may think it’s mere tissue and fluid, but trust me, there you will find the courage to stand face to face with this challenge, the endurance to bear your hatred, the determination to end such threats to our way of life, the confidence to know he is well-trained and well-prepared, and most importantly, the unfailing love for a family he leaves behind that drives him to bring this fear to your door.

Consider yourself warned. He and his companions have taken an oath to never accept defeat and to never quit. I agree, along with every kindergarten student in our great land, that “sticks and stones can break bones, but words can never hurt you.” But it is not these words you should find frightening. It is the hero who utters them.

Consider yourself warned. If these are not reason enough, I share the most horrific in my conclusion. He has and is being prayed for by numerous believers in the Lord Jesus Christ. And as a follower of the Messiah, he carries with him a power far greater than any weapon your hands can craft. Nestled beneath his armor and flowing through his veins is the assurance that the God that allows you to taste the air He provides will see Him through these trials. The God that created this universe by the commands of His voice will one day destroy all enemies of His kingdom. Even if He allows defeat in this battle, take heart that the last laugh is already had.

Consider yourself warned. You will soon witness a force that you have yet to face. I write to you proudly and with great confidence in my words. I say again, consider yourself warned.


Graham Culbertson, Brother

To read more from Graham go to www. GrahamCulbertson.com

Son At War: Part three

Crying makes me sleepy and as we begin the trip home without Garrett I am emotionally exhausted. It's Sunday and I know I should be going to my Father's house to worship Him but all I can manage is to go crawl into bed. The sleep that last night would not come, now over takes me.

Garrett will still be in the States for a few weeks of training before heading to Iraq so for now we don't have to think about his safety. He will have a four day leave while in Mississippi and we will go down for that. It's something to look forward too. Some say the second good-bye will be worse than the one we just endured, I wont miss a chance to be with my son no matter the pain that may follow.

A Son At War: part two

We walked into the main room of the armory filled with Soldiers, their bags and families whose faces looked like mine. They were tear stained or had that look that the dam was fixing to break. I had gained temporary control but lose it again as I look into the faces of all those loved ones whose hearts were breaking just like mine. I need something to do, I had brought some things to make this terrible gathering more pleasant so I go to find where to put them. This early in the morning there was bound to be coffee served so I brought flavored creamer. Do you remember the Calgon commercials " take me away "? Was it too much to hope for that flavored coffee would take our minds off the good-byes just hours away? We try to comfort each other with hugs and words of encouragement, the minutes tick by and the tears flow. We are given as much time as possible to be with our Soldiers, Bubba is roaming around the room with his camera trying to capture moments that are too quickly slipping by. My Soldier is moving through the room talking to different people and I am left standing alone watching with tears that I am convinced will never stop. Then I see one of my comrades coming toward me with open arms that envelope me with the understanding that only someone going through the same thing can have. She is my comrade because we share a battle faced by the families left behind on the home front and at this moment we share our tears and dread of the good-byes that are coming way too fast.

Then it begins, our Soldiers have to move into military mode. There are task to complete, list to check off, bags to load , formation and loading. Families are left to themselves as they will be for the year ahead, parents, children, siblings. Facing what they can no longer push aside, good-byes. I am almost in a panic to get my arms around my son one last time and trying to find one of his friends who did not have family there. "He has no one to hug him and say I love you " I thought. So I am frantically searching for him. He has already boarded the bus but the Commander calls him off for me. His face was confused and surprised as I wrapped him up in my arms. He was not my son but he was someones son and I couldn't bear the thought of him going off  without that last hug.

The bus begins to pull away as we walk along side trying to keep eye contact with our Soldier, waving, crying and realizing He is in Gods hands now. Families are left to console each other as we watch the tail lights of the bus moving out the drive onto the highway. The moment I feared has come and little by little those left behind head home to begin the year without their Soldiers.

So Much To Be Thankful For

Today on this drab, dreary, rainy day I have so much to be thankful for. I have a nice house that is warm and dry, while so many people around the world have no shelter at all. I have a pantry full of food and everything I need to cook it, while many people will have to go out no matter the weather and forage for food, even eating out of garbage cans. There will be many people around the world that will simply have to watch their children go hungry. I have a closet full of nice clothes and shoes while many people will put on shoes with holes and clothes that are rags. I have a loving and supportive husband while many women wonder whether they will be beaten today or if a pay check will make it home to take care of the family. I have two amazing boys who follow Christ while many parents don't even know where their children are or can't sleep at night because of what they are involved in. My son will be home for the holidays this year while many parents will have to miss theirs because they will be serving in a war zone. I am healthy while so many people are in the middle of treatments to save their lives and around the world there is not even medicine or treatments to give people a fighting chance and children are left to face the world alone. I was born in America where my life has been full of choices and across the world people's lives are dictated by their government. I could go on forever but there is one thing I am more thankful for than all of these. I have a savior, His name is Jesus Christ. He is the son of the one living God and He gave His life so I could be saved. Not only for me but for every one  across the world, He is available to all and He is waiting for you to call out to Him.

Veteran's Day

I've seen plenty of war movies to know it is a terrible place to be, it's dangerous and scary . The scars it leaves both physical and mental last a life time.If it were not for the brave men and women who have put themselves in harms way we would not be the country of freedom we are today.

Being the mother of two boys I wondered what it would be like to send my son off to war. It used to be a common experience but now it is strictly volunteer. Years ago before computers and e-mail, instant messaging, Skye and even before telephones mother's sent their sons off to war. I can not imagine not hearing from your soldier for months on end and knowing by the time that letter arrived their situation would have changed to who knows what.

War is an ugly thing but even in His word God tells us there is a time for it. I am thankful for all those soldiers, past and present who suffer the unimaginable so that here in America we can be free. God forgive us for using that freedom for indulging our sinful flesh. I am thankful for technology that allows me to stay in touch when it is my son in the middle of a war zone.I am thankful for every soldier who has a heart to serve his country and all those he loves and all those he doesn't even know.

A Son At War: part one

Its early morning, dark and still. The duffle bag is loaded in the trunk and my soldier son in the front seat; we are on the way to the armory. I’ve known this day was coming for a year now but I am not prepared. I’m in the back seat alone as my husband drives and my son copilots, waging my own battle against all the what ifs that are assaulting my mind. What if he never comes back? What if he comes back with out limbs or a mind that allows him to live a life free from this war? The tears begin to fall quietly as I grasp hold of the only thing that will get us all through the year ahead, faith in our God who is sovereign. I believe He has a plan for my son over there beyond what the Army has and I know that He goes with my son. It has always been my hope that both my boys would follow God’s will for their lives. So as this brave young man steps out of the car gathering his gear, he is a hero already to this mom. He is serving his country in a time of war but more importantly he is serving his Lord. As we walk into the armory I am proud and I am confident in my God’s ability to take care of him but I am still a mom sending her son off to war.  

Getting What You Want

My, how times have changed. I was not raised getting everything I wanted. I was prepared to live in the real world that is not going to be all about you. After all it's not good for us to have everything we want, you know how those people usually turn out.

If you ask my children they will tell you they didn't get everything they wanted or even allowed to do everything they wanted to do. I see so many parents giving into their children to stop them from crying, but I discovered long ago it will not damage children to let them cry and can be even good for them. I'm sure I gave in plenty of times when I shouldn't have. Now as I have gotten older I have a different perspective.

When I was employed as a teachers assistant I took a class that told us when teaching children we should prepare lessons so that they do not have to wait. You should go from one thing to another and one child to another without any one having to wait. I questioned the wisdom of this in my own mind immediately, can you say road rage! Back in the day we learned early on we had to wait our turn. What kind of people are we raising that they think they shouldn't have to wait. Then I saw it on the news, a young woman who was jumping through a drive through window attacking someone because she couldn't have chicken nuggets, the restaurant was serving breakfast. People don't know how to wait anymore, they want what they want and they want it now. Not good for any of us.

Poor Micheal Jackson wasn't raised getting what he wanted really, we learned after he grew up what he really wanted was a normal childhood and a father who knew how to love him. When I watched interviews with him I remember feeling an aching for what he had missed. Certainly as an adult, his fame made it possible for him to have whatever he wanted and I'm sure that is something you can quickly become accustomed to. In the end it cost him his life. This doctor turned a blind eye to everything he knew to be right and gave him what he wanted even though it wasn't what was best for him. It is tragic.

I am so glad my heavenly Father doesn't always give me what I ask for. He loves me so much He gives me what is best for me even if it makes me uncomfortable or causes me pain. When I think of some things I have asked for in a fit of stupidity, it makes me shudder. All I really want is to be in God's will for my life, so thank you Lord for loving me enough to give me what is best for me not always what I want.

My Baby Boy

I call both my boys that at times. It's probably irritating to them now at ages 27 and 22, but in a mother's heart that's what they always are.

When the first was born, it was the biggest life changing experience I've had. God actually whispered in my heart "this is how much I love you, I gave my son's life for you." I could never understand God's love for me, until then. I was so unprepared for how much I would love this child and I knew I could never give him up for anyone. I realized the most important thing I would ever do would be to raise this boy to know God, to love him and to serve Him. I also realized that was something I could not do on my own and it was then that I gave my life completely to Christ. God revealed Himself in the face of my beautiful baby boy!

I did not have any specific desires of what I wanted Graham to grow up to be, only for him to follow Christ's will for his life. He has done just that all through out his days. God has had His hand on Graham always and today he will be ordained into the ministry. I am a very proud mother and a very thankful child of God.

That's Not What We Had Planned

Well, a week ago I left the US so excited about the wonderful plans and trip my husband had made for me! I know all of Heaven must quake with the laughter of our Lord sometimes at the plans we humans make. I also had a few ideas of my own in the mix. I know you have done the same thing, it is a common human condition.
My oldest son is a planner far beyond even his father who is meticulous. It gives us humans the delusion of being in control.

The fact of the matter is, even with the best made plans, anything can happen and there we are. In the middle of a situation, caught so off guard that we plunge into despair. God is never caught off guard and has already prepared the help He knows we will need, even while we stand there and worry. Time after time He has demonstrated this very fact to me and yet time after time I find myself in that worrisome place.

When things don't go as planned it is not because God decided He is going to smite us. We don't purposely do bad things to our children, do we? No, it is because we live in a fallen world and we suffer our own consequences or someone else's. In this world there is sickness, death, accidents and sometimes just plain crazy people. Yes we experienced that last night in the hotel, more about that later. If you are a child of God, He's got your back! Through out these last four days God already had it worked out, He had prepared the help ahead of time. Bubba had been here three weeks so the hotel staff knew him and it is a wonderful staff. He had me come over and the people Bubba works with worked together to solve the only issue we really had which was paying the hospital bill. Even though the hospital aggravated me to death about it. They better be glad my sister Marie wasn't here, she would have let them have it!

This hasn't been exactly what we planned but it has been what God knew would happen. He has taken care of us. We have one more day to sight see and try to keep Bubba calm, so I guess I better hold back on the shopping. Then God will bring us home and life goes on with all we have planned but we know it doesn't always go that way. It has been a wonderful trip.

How Quickly Things Can Change

My goodness, how quickly things can change! We spent the weekend in Paris seeing things we have only read about, architecture so beauitful it just leaves your mouth hanging open. More about that later, on Sunday morning Bubba, my husband, gets up with a nose bleed that last 4 hours. He has these on occasion but can usually get them under control in an hour or so, this one is bad. It finally does stop and he wants to continue sightseeing in Paris. Through out the day it bleeds off and on, not out his nose but down his throat but he will not give in and leave. He is determined to show me Paris and so he does. We naturally stayed later than we should have before starting back to Antwerp but what else would you do in Paris?

The drive back was uneventful and we arrived at the hotel around 1am, you can say we were exhausted and went straight to bed. I am awaken about 4am with Bubba jumping out of the bed and running to the bathroom. He is bleeding very badly again and we can't get it to stop so the hotel calls for a taxi and we are off to the emergency room in a foreign country. They get it to stop and we go back to the hotel to rest, it begins again and we are back at the hospital. They have admitted him and he will stay again tonight, the bleeding has slowed but not stopped. It was crazy yesterday and I had several melt downs and cried in front of who ever was standing there.

I didn't want to go back to the hotel by myself last night but it is not allowed for you to stay with your loved ones in the hospital here. So I had no choice but God had some schooling for me while I was alone. This is what I learned or at least was reminded of.

The same God that is always with me at home came with me to Belgium, as a matter of fact He was already here. It was His plan that I come to begin with to be with Bubba when this happened, Paris and all the other awesome stuff are the good that God brings out of bad situations when we belong to Him. He is taking care of every need for Bubba and myself in magnificent style, the Hilton Hotel are treating us like family and Capsugel  has sent us a helper and are keeping tabs. So I need to dry my tears and start acting like someone who knows the God of the universe loves her and will take care of her. I am so thankful He understands about women and tears though, oh yea He made us! So today I am in Belgium and Bubba is in the hospital and God is in control! My how quickly things can change!

Another World

Yes, my husband sent for me! I am blogging this morning from Belgium. After breakfast which included a very delicious and flakey croissant my husband went to work. I went out on a terrace to have my quiet time with God. The air is brisk this morning as I sit looking at the steeple of a magnificent Cathedral right across from our hotel. The architecture is breath taking, so much more than these eyes are use to seeing and I worship my God there. My God is the Creator and yes this Cathedral was made by human hands and mind but it was my God who created those human hands and mind. Yet He desires to be my God and have a personal relationship with me, I can hardly comprehend that.

I marvel at the blessing that I am here, who would have ever thought? Certainly not me! I think about my life, growing up with an abusive, alcholic father which produced a disfunctional poor family. Then as I grew up making bad choices of my own left me with a life which at times felt pretty hopeless. I know you have had those crisises, sometimes of your own making, sometimes not, in your own life. Before finding a relationship with Christ, facing those times were difficult at best and I often found myself wondering "is this all my life is ever going to be?" It seems that way when we are in the darkness of a bad situation, we can't see out of the darkness but you have to learn from the bad situation to make better choices. Then from there, to make one step at a time until you are past the situation even though you may have to carry the consequence with you. We are sometimes too quick to give up thinking it's never going to be better but you never know whats right around the corner. I never thought a month ago I would be in this amazing place!

God has blessed me so, but you cannot expect to be blessed by God if you don't belong to Him. Part of belonging to Him is living for Him and in obedience to Him. How do you know how to do that? He wrote you a letter, well actually a book! It's His word, the Bible. It is His instructions to us so we can make wise choices for our lives and we can have lives full of hope for tomorrow. After all who knows where you will be or what you will be facing down the road!

He sent For Me!

I love the movie Coal Miner's Daughter. One of my favorite scenes is where young and very pregnant Loretta Lynn is sitting on a hill in front of her families home as her father returns from work in the coal mines with a letter from her husband, Doo. Her excitement explodes as she reads and hollars, " he's sending for me" or something to that effect. Doo has gotten a job and sent money for her to join him.

My husband travels abroad for work sometimes. He flies business class and eats in nice restaurants, seeing places and other cultures. I use to be jealous, I stayed home with the kids holding down the fort. Now the kids are grown. I imagine how awesome it would be if while he was away he sent for me! I'd be screaming with delight just like Loretta! Open up e-mail and see one from him that says " Pack your bags ". He'd already have arranged everything and paid for the ticket, that would make you feel loved wouldn't it? Of course I would have to do my part, pack my bags, go to the airport and pick up my ticket. One of these days!

Jesus had to go away but He didn't leave us without hope. Heaven is more first class than we can imagine and He has sent for us! He's already arranged everything and paid the price, doesn't that make you feel loved? He's just waiting for us to do our part.

Some of God's Best Work

                                                      Some of God's Best Work

                                                          Sea Shells,

                                                          snowflakes

                                                          and my two boys!  

                                                            

                                                           

Fall At Last

Like most other people I am loving the change of the season, the cooler air, the changing of the leaves, so many things. The older I get, the more summer becomes my least favorite season. I don't like hot and I don't like to sweat! I am more productive in cooler weather and just enjoy everything more.

 My husband and I were once visiting Washington DC early in August for just one day. There were so many things we wanted to see and so little time plus Satan himself must have been in charge of the thermostat. It was to me, unbearably hot, of course heat doesn't bother my husband. You know, it's part of that opposites attract thing I guess. He was so excited to see everything and after a couple hours of riding on top of the bus and walking all over the place, I'm done. Trying to be considerate I continue to follow. We find ourselves in front of the White House being pushed back with the rest of the tourist by police into the field across the street because Obama was flying in on a helicopter.

Exciting? To me I could care less, to my husband, YES! They kept pushing us back further and further, there were no benches to sit on and no shade, just the sun bearing down on us. My husband had his camera out with the telephoto lens oblivious to the heat or the crowd or anything else around him. He would have waited all day for that shot of the president, which we were too far away for anyway. There were people out on the White House lawn waiting to greet Mr. President, probally mad at having been forced out in the heat. When he landed President Obama got out on the opposite side of the Helicopter so we never did get to see him. I was fit to be tied! I hadn't thought it worth enduring the heat to begin with so I'm a little whiny by now. The day was far from over as my husband drug me all over that city while I prayed "Dear Lord, please let me get hit by a car so I can lay down!" Thank goodness God doesn't always give us what we ask for! I finally did get to lay down so sunburned I couldn't sleep. Do you get how I hate hot?

I have always been amazed at the creativeness of our God and it is renewed at the beginning of each season. That He cared enough and knew we would be bored with the same things all the time. Four different seasons, each with wonder, beauty and refreshment unique to it's own. Thank you Lord for fall !

What happened to Steve Jobs?

 I am listening to all the tributes on TV for Steve Jobs. By the worlds standards he had it all, fame, fortune and yes he made great contributions in technology. I didn't know him personally, maybe he was a good man in his personal life but one thing I do know. He met the living God face to face on the day he died. If he didn't know it before he knows it now, no matter what your accomplishments are here on earth, if you missed a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you missed the most important thing. If he wasn't a child of the risen savior all his money didn't help him. All his fame didn't help him, all the technology he developed didn't help him. If he could come back and give one more message it wouldn't be about computers or phones. It would be about knowing Jesus as your Savior. 

May God Be Glorified

Back to the real world, home. It is the place I like to be. I cannot quiet my mind with all the thoughts and all the things I learned at NCompass this weekend. I love to write and I want to be faithful to God with it.

 I guess it is every writer's dream to be published and if that is Gods plan, what if it takes too long and I give up? Then God is not glorified. What if His plan is not even to be published but to help others along the way and I give up? God is not glorified. After all His plan is not the same for all of us but the goal should be, to glorify God.

So this weekend I spent an amazing long weekend with a bunch of writers at various stages of the game. Some published, some not, but there was one thing in common. The desire to glorify God. The one's further along in the race were not just running for themselves, their hands were reaching back to help those of us following behind. To jump the hurdles they had already jumped, to encourage and share. I can tell you for sure, God was glorified!

So as I begin this journey, not being sure of anything except it is a call from God, may I be found faithful and God be glorified!

It's all in how you look at it!

I have been at my first Writer's Retreat, NCompass since Thursday. I have always loved to write and dreamed of doing it professionally but always just thought it was a dream. In this place there are times I am overwhelmed and I must say that is most of the time! God is using these people to show me that the desires God puts in your heart, He always has a plan to bring it forth. After all He is God!

These writers have taken me by the hand and are teaching me how to eat an Elephant, you know, one bite at a time! To do like Nike, Just Do It .Not only the teachers but also other students but I know what is at the root of that. Christ!

My mind was in overload on the first day and there is a day and a half left so Satan is Johnny on the spot telling me "you can't do this, you're too old to learn all this, you just want to bring glory to yourself!" and I begin to feel defeated. The battle begins “Don’t mess with me Satan, my Father is King of Kings and that makes me a Princess. I don't want to be Queen, that's the old lady! So I can do ALL things through Christ.

When I leave tomorrow I have two ways to look at this. I can look at how much I don't know and think "I can't do this", Satan wins. I hate it when Satan wins even one! Or I can look at how much I have learned that I didn't know and keep on working away on this elephant! If I do that God wins! I love it when God wins.

I'm learning something new

This is my new blog. It's scary, but I can do all things thru Christ Who gives me strength :)
He has something new for me and I am so excited!