I've Been Still

Well I am still here, I just haven't had much to say. I let life swallow me up and on the inside I shut down. Do you ever do that? Those I come in contact with on a regular basis would never know because like most of us I know how to put on my game face. To put one foot in front of the other and do all thats expected of me, all the while you are dead on the inside, finding it difficult to find joy in anything.

Imagine that, and I am a christian. I have a living, breathing, real relationship with the God of the universe. That doesn't make me perfect, I wont get that till I get to heaven. I'm human, made of flesh. Flesh that hurts, that gets angry, feed up, overwhelmed, and weary. I know God tells us to keep our eyes on him but guess what? I slip and when I do, I loose myself, so I've had a few weeks of that. To me it's kind of like throwing a fit with God. After I was finished screaming on the inside I cried out to God and had to get quiet and listen.

He tells us in His word to Be still and know that I am God. Its hard to pay attention when you're throwing a fit even when it's just on the inside. He has lifted me up again and renewed my spirit, just like He has promised He would. We all find ourselves in that condition at times and I don't know how those whose hope is in anything in this world gets through it. Jesus Christ is the only hope and as I get up and follow Him through out this fallen world, trying to accomplish His will for my life, not anybody else's, I am waiting for Him to come again and take me home.