Are you a missionary or a missionary project?

I once heard someone say "you are either a missionary or a missionary project". I am a missionary, who I'm sorry to say often let's God down. I am so thankful He never gives up on me and will continue to work on me until I join Him one day. For me that day will not come soon enough but untill then I will continue to serve Him here.

I will make my 14th trip to Ukraine the end of March along with 7 others from my church. Since my first trip in 1996 I have watched God work and grow His people there, add to their numbers and grow me.

That first year I did gospel clowning as "Maggie Mae" and was in such culture shock I did not take one picture or write one word. Talk about being out of your comfort zone! I did what I came to do and God used it which is a testament to how awesome He is, while I counted the days till I would return home. To say it was a difficult trip doesn't even touch it! The children in the orphanages would ask us as we were leaving "when will you come back?" and while "next year" rang out of my fellow clowns mouths, I'm standing there thinking " I ain't coming back!" It's funny now to remember those days, today those people are my second family and when I return it's like being home again. That too is a testament to how  awesome God is.

God used the clowns to open many doors in the country and we passed this tool on to those who were interested in doing it there. Holding clown school there so it could be used all year long instead of once a year when we came. We continue to support them by bringing supplies.

The last few years God has had me focus on door to door evangelism, I have found a method that works for me called "Share Jesus Without Fear". Now don't paint some high and mighty picture of me because I am not BUT my God is! People in Ukraine are open to the gospel for the most part, they are simply waiting for someone to come tell them. It's much easier to witness there than in America which by the way doesn't excuse us from it here.

So here it is time to start getting my ducks in a row to go again. You would think after all these years I would have learned to trust God more.  One way or another He has always provided the money for me to go and money to do ministry with once I get there. It is a very poor country and we will buy food to feed their bodies, as well as Bible's and proclaim God's Word to feed their soul. We will support financially ministries they are doing like children's summer camps, food and shoes for orphanages and the list will go on according to how much money we have. We are being ask to teach "Share Jesus Without Fear" in three regions so they will be equipped to share with their own people. This means we need to take them the books for the course and Bibles for each one.

Once again this year I am anxious for where the resources will come from. This I know, God has a BIG plan for this year and He will fund it. I just need to obey, a friend reminded me "you have not because you ask not". So if God speaks to you about taking part financially in what He will be doing in Ukraine the end of March and you decide to obey, contact me through a comment  and we'll find a way to connect.

To God be the glory, great things He has done and is going to do!

A Son At War#8:On The Home Front

We are glad to have the major holidays behind us and continue to count down the days. I was told when my soldier left to stop watching the news but I'm the kind of girl that wants to know what's going on even if it's bad. So as I hear of attacks and the death counts, the first one I run to is my God who I know is also in Iraq. I am amazed even to this day the comfort and peace that the Holy Spirit kept me wrapped in. Garrett continues to travel through out the country which increases his danger and instead of being overcome with fear I am thankful for what God is showing him.

My second place to run to is our FRG (family readiness group). Our leader has become very dear to me as have several other's. This is a group made up of those left behind and we meet once a month to give each other support as well as our soldiers. Many meetings are spent putting together care packages for our soldiers as we talked. I consider our leader a gift from God and it is clear this is a ministry for her, she represents Christ well. You know to try to hold a group of women together under the stress of their loved ones being at war together is no easy task.

After the first couple of meetings I knew we were not all on level ground, that some of these precious women would be going this alone, without God. I couldn't imagine how they would get through the coming year so I ask God to let me make a difference. I quickly found out in a group of soldiers wives, the mothers are not welcome and to be fair I realize it would be difficult to talk openly about everything with your mother-in-law in the group but I couldn't understand why information about son's was not passed along to mother's waiting on news of their son. This didn't seem to apply to me because Garrett was not married, I tried to lead a mother's group but after the first meeting it feel apart. It quickly became apparent while our soldiers had gone off to war they had also left one behind and it broke my heart. I couldn't get my head around it. My daughter-in-law is everything I prayed for and more, I love her and she loves me. I know there will be times she will be less than pleased with me but she will love me because that's the kind of person she is. There is no mistaking who lives inside her, and who she has given control of her life. That's what was missing in these other relationships, God told husbands to cleve to their wives but does that mean you have to push your husband's family out?

How in the world could God use me to make a difference in this group? I continued to attend meetings and support the leader and there were those who had the same secret weapon I had, Christ. They were a blessing to me and became part of my family while we tried to be available to anyone who was open. God bless our leader, I would say I don't know how she did it but I do know. All the drama and fires she put out and continued to reflect the spirit of Christ, what an inspiration she is.

FRG is an important group and of course it will be a mixed bag of people. It's a mixed bag of people with a very important load to bear, to carry on at home and support their soldier. What makes a load easier to carry? Someone to help carry the load, we need each other. Be in the world, not of it while you let your light shine.

2012 Now What?

Well it's 2012, now what? I love the week between Christmas and New Years because it's slow. There are not the normal demands on your time and efforts. I can take my time getting Christmas down and the house back in order. Bubba has been off work and so routine has gone out the window, we've slept late, stayed in my PJ's late, just not had to be in a hurry for anything. I think I could live this way! To not be involved in the outside world, wrapped up in my own. Not to have other's depending on you for anything, no deadlines, no pressure, stress or drama. A life of peace!

What kind of impact would I have on the world? None! That's not what God created me for. It's nice to have some down time to recharge, we all need it from time to time but we weren't created to live a life unto ourselves. So 2012 has begun, now what?

It's time to get back at it, at life. I've got a stage to clear and redecorate for children's Sunday school at church and props to gather, a mission trip to Ukraine the end of March that I need to be working on getting my ducks in a row for, Graham's birthday coming up and the list goes on. You know how it goes.

I want to make a impact on this world for Christ in whatever small way I can. It is my purpose for life and if I retreat into my own little cocoon I can't do that, so 2012 here I come and the results of living my life for Christ? A life of peace!

Preparing For The Holidays: Step Five: The Clean Up

Oh my goodness, this house is in such disarray. It is littered with boxes, tissue paper and gifts that haven't been put away. We did manage to pick up the wrapping paper but that was about it. I wish there was a secret to the clean up but there isn't, you just do it. As far as the decorations go, some people like to take them down right away and some like to leave them up till New Years. I like to get them put away and get the house back to normal but I don't obsess over it. For now I will continue to enjoy having all my kids home as long as it last.

Eventually the house will be cleaned and everything will be back to normal. Graham and Andrea will go back to Salisbury and the "holidays" will be over but in this home as well as many of yours Christmas is never far away. Not because decorations are up or there are presents are under a tree but because Jesus Christ lives in our hearts every day.  

A Son At War #7 Separated At Christmas

I've been getting things together for weeks, all I can think of is my baby boy so far from home and everything he loves at Christmas. Surrounded by sand, the metal buildings that make up the base, weapons and the reality that your life could be taken at any moment. What a way to spend these very special holidays, I am determined to do what I can to see that he has some things to make it festive. The first thing to make it's way across the ocean is the tree, 3ft and prelit along with ornaments and various other decorations. He's excited to receive them but even this small tree is too big for his room so he puts it out somewhere for everyone to enjoy. He uses most everything we send to bring light into this very dark corner of the world for his fellow soldiers.

He has sent presents for us from Iraq and I send some for him, marked do not open till Christmas. Wonder can I trust him? Also along with his gifts are goody bags for some of his comrades that he gets to torture them with because they are also marked " not till Christmas ". I get a phone call early one morning from Iraq, it's his 1st Sargent. He saw the Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes and wants one! Garrett won't budge, not until Christmas so he tells him to call me and if I say OK then he can have one. Garrett is convinced I wont give in but how could anyone be hardcore with someone making the sacrifice they are making, not me! It was a very fun call!

Christmas morning arrives and his absence has left a big hole, thank goodness Graham and Andrea have been able to be here or I wouldn't have made it. We get everything ready to skype and open presents together, Garrett is up very late to join us. Skye is a wonderful thing if you have a good connection which does not happen often over there and Christmas morning is no exception. The call keeps dropping and so we have only a few minutes at a time but you can see the joy on his face as we open his very special presents sent from so far away. Then there is the frustration building every time the call drops, and we have to call it quits. Suddenly the miles that separate us are magnified and his absence overwhelms me and the tears come.

After a few moments, I do just like my soldier, I carry on. I have a very wonderful husband, son and daughter-in-law here with me and the traditions that make Christmas unique to our family will move us through the day.

After all, this is what it's all about. God came to earth, a Savior was born, the gift of salvation was given, a way was made to have a relationship with the living God. All because of His great love for us! That is worth celebrating inspite of what ever sadness this world brings. So with a tear in my eye I went about the day celebrating the birth of my Lord knowing that Garrett was doing the same.

Preparing For The Holidays: Step four- presents

When I give a gift I want it to be something valued by the recipient. Something they can use or that would mean something special to them. When they look at it or use it, it will remind them of a special someone or special event or maybe make a task in their life easier. You know how hard that can be.

Our family is big and we draw names so as not to financially stress anyone. Once I find out who I'm buying for I ask someone close to them for some suggestions and go from there. Of course like everyone else I want quality gifts at a good price. I love a deal, so yes I do black Friday, it's a family affair. My sister and nieces, nephews, Bubba and Garrett. We so missed Garrett last year when he was in Iraq! He attacks black Friday like a military mission, going over and around whatever to capture the deal. Make no mistake, he gets it too. We share our lists with each other, devise a plan, divide and conquer.

I hate to return things, any time of the year but especially after Christmas. So I don't want my gifts to put the recipient in that position. I put alot of thought into my gifts, thoughts of the particular person, what they may enjoy, what they may need. The people I give gifts to are people I love and I want to make a difference in their lives even if for a moment or in a small way. Now don't get offended, I love alot of people that don't get gifts! I have often wondered why God didn't make me rich as well as beautiful, I could have handled both but I trust His wisdom. Each gift is bought with that one person in mind and I look forward to giving it and seeing  the reaction of the person receiving it.

Let's talk about the most magnificent gift ever given. It is a gift that was sent just for you, it's what everyone needs even if you don't recognize it. You can't lose it or break it. It is perfect for each one of us no matter who we are, what we've done or where we are. If you accept this gift, it gives you peace in a world where there is no peace. It gives joy where there is no joy, a high purpose to your life and security that nothing can take away. It gives you a relationship with the living God, as a matter of fact it makes you family, His child! It was a very expensive gift, it cost Jesus His life but He gave it willing out of His love for you. So during the season when we celebrate when it all began here on earth, take this gift for your own. It makes the most important difference in your life.

A Son At War #6

For those who don't know me I am a professional clown aka Maggie Mae. This particular morning I am going to perform for a senior group at a church so I am in make up and costume. It takes a lot of time and work to be that beautiful! This morning has been focused on what I am doing and I am ready and walking out the door. The phone rings. The debate begins, do I answer or let the machine get it?

I get the news that has been leaked through the family lines, Garrett's base has been attacked. The problem with leaked news is you don't usually have details or at least the correct details. So then you start to imagine all that could be, I cannot go to pieces, Maggie Mae has to perform. It's hard to describe what I was feeling. I some how knew Garrett was okay, well not some how it was the Holy Spirit. Yet there was an anxiousness as I am wondering if  everyone is okay and trying to imagine the fear Garrett must have felt. I'll have to wait till later to get more news so I'm out the door.

I drive to the church with what I imagine the attack would have been like playing through my mind,it's not pretty.The Pastor is waiting for me outside and I tell him about my phone call, I ask him to pray that I can keep my focus. Once we get in and are ready to start he does pray, not only for me but for my son and all soldiers.As my head is bowed and my eyes closed I fight back the tears that are trying so hard to fall. I've got a job to do, a message to give about the same God that is protecting my son. I cannot lose it, and God is the glue that holds me together.

I do my program and my mind is relieved as I concentrate on the task before me. Maggie Mae takes over and the fun begins, for the next 20 to 30 minutes the magic that is Maggie Mae is enjoyed by all.

Then there is the drive home where I am again wondering about the events of the night before at Garrett's camp. I think about each soldier and pray that they are all okay. I need to get home, get out of Maggie Mae and then maybe I can focus on finding out some more details.

I back into the garage, grab Maggie Mae's props and race into the house. I change clothes and stand in front of the mirror to take my make-up off. I am horrified at what is staring back at me, then comes the laughter. When the Pastor prayed and I fought back the tears, Maggie Mae's mascara had run and I had two big black circles under my eyes! No one had said a thing and I went through the whole program that way! I hoped they didn't think Maggie Mae always looked like that! Oh well just as God helped me focus on the message I gave about Him I'm sure He helped them focus on that same message and not Maggie Mae's raccoon eyes!